Networking can invoke feelings of fear, annoyance, or excitement. Some embrace it and others would rather be doing anything else. Networking is, however, a mainstay in the legal profession.

We have cocktail hours, conferences, and events in between. We are bound to meet new people. So, what should you keep in mind the next time your colleague highly encourages you to attend a cocktail hour?

1- Make Networking Part of Your Routine. A lot of people think that networking is only necessary when looking for a new job or client. Actually, if you are only networking because you want something, then odds are that you will come off as disingenuous. Rather, integrate it into your profession and life as a matter of course.
2- Put Those Listening Skills to Work. They say that the best conversationalists are the ones who listen. People want to talk about themselves. They want others to listen to what they have to say. Be the person who does the listening.
3- Ask Open-Ended Questions. You can only really practice your listening skills if the other person is actually talking though. Consider asking open-ended questions. So instead of asking somebody if they like their job, ask them what their favorite parts of the job are. Every now and then, you may meet that person who simply does not want to talk or who gives brief answers no matter how open-ended your question is. It is ok; that is your hint to move on.
4- Consider How You Offer Value to the Other Person. So many people wonder what is in it for them and how they can get what they want out of a conversation. Instead, consider how you can help the other person. Did they mention how they have to organize a mock trial competition? Offer to judge. Are they talking how much their neck is hurting? Give them the name of your chiropractor. Are they complaining about how they cannot find good help? Keep an eye out for them. We like people that help us out—especially, if there are no return expectations.
5- Stay in Touch. If you really enjoyed meeting somebody, then let them know. Send them a card afterwards. Keep in touch with them down the road. If you see that they published an article, won an award, or obtained any other sort of recognition, reach out and let them know. This only continues to foster the relationship.
6- Be Curious. Do you remember being a kid and asking “why” at every turn? Why is the sky blue? Why is the lemon sour? Why does the hummingbird flap its wings so much? If you are able to maintain a general curiosity in the person you are talking to, then you will never run out of questions to ask.
7- Be Genuine and Authentic. Along the same lines though, your conversation and presentation should be genuine and authentic. If somebody mentions that their kids play basketball, and you know nothing about basketball and could not care less about team sports, then the next question should not be “what team do they play on?” because that sounds like the right thing to ask. Gently steer the conversation in another direction.
8- Go Beyond “What Do You Do for Work”? This usually gets you nowhere, especially if (unfortunately), the other person may not like their job as much as you do. This question usually goes as follows: First person – “What do you do for work?” Second person – “Accounting.” First person – “Oh, cool.” Second person: “And how about you?” First person: “Patent law.” And, scene. Instead of that, consider asking somebody what their objectives for the year are, what they enjoyed most about the month, or if they have any projects in the hopper. Find their point of excitement. Vanessa Van Edwards has some great tips on such conversation openers.
9- Consider Your Physical Comfort Level. Are you wearing that cute dress that might be itchy because of the fabric? Is your tie perhaps just a little too tight? Try to be as comfortable as possible—while maintaining confidence—at a networking function or when meeting new people. The less your mind wanders to your physical comfort, the more attention you will pay to the conversation.
10- Be Mindful of Your Alcohol. The last thing you need is having one too many and saying something inappropriate in front of a judge or potential employer, right? Make sense?

Networking can open many doors both professionally and personally. It is a long game though. A long and necessary game. Have fun out there!

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Silvia A. Mansoor is the current SBM YLS Chair and a health care provider advocate at Foley, Baron, Metzger & Juip, PLLC.